Found In the Woods

There must be some sort of subculture of humorists in this world who have cleverly inundated some of the most obscure and bizarre (and some obviously fake) items on Amazon.com with hilarious comments and stories. Take this ad for Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz with poetry and wonderful additional photos below the product photo. Here’s an excerpt from a comment titled “One Friday, Without the Milk”:

“Over dinner that night I casually inserted,”What happened to the milk?”
“Oh,”he smiled sheepishly, glancing aside,”I guess I forgot today.”

That was when I knew. He was tired of this life with me, tired of bringing home the Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz. He was probably shoveling funds into a secret bank account, looking at apartments in town, casting furtive glances at cashiers and secretaries and waitresses. That’s when I knew it was over. Some time later he moved in with a cashier from the Food Mart down the street. And me? Well, I’ve gone soy.”

and from the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank

“I bought the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser because I needed a vehicle. When I got it, I carefully disabled the weapons and managed to boost the speeds. With a licenses plate, I started driving this wonderful machine to and from work. The best feature about this is that no one can see in, so I can take the car pool lane without being bothered by those pesky cops. Also, the tank fits into the compact car parking spots. Definitely something to drive to and from work. Not terribly gas efficient, but worth it!”

Follow the links on the various pages for more goodness.