Found In the Woods

This is a new one for me, folks. The term Mall Ninja describes someone who takes tactical (ie. SWAT) and military gear too seriously and yet has no real need for the stuff. One might envision a nerdy, overweight guy browsing internet sites and catalogs for body armor and tricked-out gun parts so they can build an arsenal and appear to be technically knowledgeable, yet the McDonalds uniform and Twinkies give it all away.

Reported this morning on BoingBoing, someone has set up a shrine to the mall ninja of mall nijas, Gecko45. Read all you need to know here. IF you liked that, you will love THIS. I was laughing so hard, I didn’t know what hit me. Here are some quotes from the discussion on “you might be a mall ninja IF…”:

You own a Glock 9mm and dozens of mags, and the only magazines that are not 33 rounders are the ones that came with the gun, and you have no clue were you put them.

You walk in Home Depot a look at a piece of tile, or sheet metal and say, ” you know if I wrap that in enough duct tape, it will make a good trauma plate.”

You think swinging down from the top of your garage on a rope qualifies as repelling.

You clamp 2 40 round mags together to equalize the center of gravity on your AR. It’s currently front heavy with the rail, lights, lazers,Eotech,and Eotech mangifier.

Every T-shirt in your closet has some form of the words… “police” “swat” “special forces” etc…. And the only uniform you ever wore is from McDonalds